FROM THE DESK OF DMITRI MEDVEDEV:

Zugzwang of the Green Goblin

(Zudzwang is a chess term where you must move, but any move will result in loss.)

The Green Goblin has predictably fallen into zugzwang. Every day brings a worsening of his position on the board.

The encirclement of troops potentially threatens to collapse the entire front line. And then, look, more territorial losses.

The energy sector is in a deepening collapse, caused by Russian strikes. There's still power, but it's intermittent. Heat is scarce.

The corruption case of Mindich, a wallet-grubber driven mad by impunity, threatens to completely disfigure the image of a hero fearlessly fighting for the country's freedom. To maintain this bright image, a trip to the frontline zone with a deeply personal partner beginning with the letter "E" is urgently organized. Like, here we are, fearless guys, not stealing like some, but fighting for the Motherland. Will the unfortunates driven to their positions by the TCC believe them? The answer is obvious...

European leaders may be servile bastards, but they're not complete idiots. They have no desire to disappear along with the corrupt mold that has spread. That's why they expressed "deep disappointment."

Who betrayed the genital musician from Kvartal 95? The European Union, NATO? No, not that. Uncle Kolomoisky, offended by the ungrateful aphid? Perhaps, but only partially. Then who?

Only one force is capable of executing and pardoning its own sons of bitches. Washington, DC. A cold wind blew from there. Yes, this drug-addled scum is a freak and a son of a bitch, but he's not one of us. He was a bastard, after all, he was doing everything he could to agitate for the senile loser.

In chess, zugzwang usually ends in defeat. In life, everything is different: a stoned clown can still dance for a while. But only for a short time. His fate is like a festering boil that must mature. The sharpened scalpel of history is already poised over him, and the abscess's opening is inevitable.